For anyone struggling: "Taylor swift is named after einstein" - here "after" is being used for time, not to say her name was derived. She was literally named some time after einstein. "this is comedy" - its a comma and a D. comma D. "The human species will not go extinct in your life time" - if humans are extinct you are already dead, ergo not in your life time "Barrack obama has no feeling here, <points to his elbow>" - It's his elbow, not Obamas. Obama can feel his own elbow, but not Michael's. "This is what a dollar bill looks like under a microscope" - literally. He puts a dollar bill physically under a microscope in view of the camera, rather than figuratively "under a microscope" which is a turn of phrase used to describe something being viewed through the magnifying lenses "if you name your cat neft and cover yourself in tuna you can get free netflix" - the cat is called neft. If it licks you, thats neft licks. If you are covered in tuna it will lick you. neft licks sounds like netflix. "There is no word in the English language that starts and ends with the letter T" - he isn't saying that there is no word that starts and ends with the letter T, he is stating that "there is no word in the English language that" as a sentence starts and ends with the letter T. "Their are three erors in this sentence" - its in the writing. The first error is "their" instead of "there". The second is "erors" instead of "errors". The third is that there are only two errors. "You could live the entire rest of your life under water" - you will drown, and no longer be living your life. Your life will have ended under water, so that was the rest of it from the moment you went under water. "liometopum occidentale eggs are fantastic for your health, and why wouldn't they be, theyre full of new tree ants" - Only one I had to google wtf liometopum occidentale was. new tree ants sounds like nutrients. liometopum occidentale is the latin name for "Velvety tree ant"s. The eggs are literally full of new tree ants. A stopped clock is right twice a day... - literally just a fact, a stopped clock has the right time twice per day (e.g stopped at 8, its correct at 8 in the morning and 8 in the evening). A clock running slower than one second a year is so minutely out of sync with the real time it takes 43200 years before it syncs back up with the correct time for a single second, and starts the cycle again