Vsauce
- Commenters
- 1.6K
- Top comment
- 1M
- Typical top
- 64.7K
- Hit 10K+
- 98.5%
Commenters 1401 to 1425
““Jaculating becomes E-jaculating” -Vsauce 2023”
“Michael's wife: **crying because vsauce might lose his sanity** Michael: "i dont like the smell of the soap"”
“"Eating gum in class?" "Not gum" "Tobacco, I see" "Solid metal" "What?" "Solid metal, pussy"”
“"Except they don't..." I was 100% expecting the Vsauce detective soundtrack to start playing”
“They respond with “sorry i have a boyfriend “”
“He ignored the shoe shine guy like he wasnt even there.”
“Blinking simultaneously seems like a Doctor Who episode.”
“The unemployed friend on a Tuesday. 💀”
“The tree of Tenere was a true majesty, too. It was widely known as an important landmark in the area, and a well was dug near the tree for travellers, revealing that its root structure stretched over 100 feet deep into the water table. The tree grew when the Sahara was far greener, and was the last remaining survivor of its community, owing to its impressive roots.”
“"One cosmic latte, please" *Barista puts psychedelics in the coffee*”
“The screen looks yellow but actually isn't, just like how Michael *looks* human and *looks* harmless.”
“Celebrating halloween shirtless 2 months early. Phenomenal.”
“Imagine being on the X page and trying to find out what the red herring is for ages, only to look and see that it’s a figurative red herring”
“People in wheelchairs: *”Am I a joke to you?”*”
“Imagine Michael being a father Nurse: It's a boy! Michael: or is it?”
“Explanation for each joke : * The telegraph was the ancestor of the phone line, except it didn't transmit sounds, but beeps depending on button presses on either end, and you could transmit individual letters using a combination of short and long presses following the Morse code alphabet. The telegraph was using a long network of electric lines across the country, but at the beginning of the century, some recent technological breakthroughs, mostly from the Italian inventor Guglielmo Marconi, allowed wireless telegraphy to work using radio waves, even opening up the first transatlantic communication lines. You could say the wireless telegraph was practically sending "words over nothing". * The original oyster soup jokes goes something like "Waiter, I can’t seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup." and the waiter to reply "Why, would you expect to find angels in angel cake?" (alternative reply: "Would you expect to find soldiers in a soldier biscuit") which implies the restaurant cheapened out on expensive oysters and used a clever comeback to justify it. Finding an oyster in a tomato soup, however, would at the very least be quite surprising. * Painter's colic was a symptom of lead poisoning which came from paints using lead in their recipes at the time. Back in the 16th century, some makeup even used lead carbonate powder for its pale yellowish color, most famously in Venetian ceruse. Catching painter colic from a kiss on a cheek would indicate the recipient of the kiss was wearing an abundant quantity of such lead-based makeup. * The trace is the part of the harness that attaches the horse to a wagon, so in this context "leaving without a trace" is a pun that could either mean that the thief left no hint, or that he was very thorough in his robbery and left nothing. * The doctor being a woman implies the "incurable heart disease" is an anti-euphemism for "falling in love". Edit: added some context on lead powder makeup thanks to @dzinypinydoroviny's remark.”
“This actually seems like something that would keep me awake wtf”
“Vsauce: snorts white powder. Police: Sir is that.. Vsauce: No, no! this is actually….”
“The purple dots jiggling so much really makes it clear how good image stabilization has gotten”
“bro described himself as introvert , loved his mom , advertised a book , taught us a new thing all at the same time💀”
“The Ohio memes finally make sense”
“"A chicken is an eggs way of making new eggs." That changed the way I think.”
“Number 16 Bus Shelter is gonna be watching this in a few years like "HEEEYYYY"”
“Wife: I'm leaving you. Vsauce: *OR ARE YOU?*”
“For anyone struggling: "Taylor swift is named after einstein" - here "after" is being used for time, not to say her name was derived. She was literally named some time after einstein. "this is comedy" - its a comma and a D. comma D. "The human species will not go extinct in your life time" - if humans are extinct you are already dead, ergo not in your life time "Barrack obama has no feeling here, <points to his elbow>" - It's his elbow, not Obamas. Obama can feel his own elbow, but not Michael's. "This is what a dollar bill looks like under a microscope" - literally. He puts a dollar bill physically under a microscope in view of the camera, rather than figuratively "under a microscope" which is a turn of phrase used to describe something being viewed through the magnifying lenses "if you name your cat neft and cover yourself in tuna you can get free netflix" - the cat is called neft. If it licks you, thats neft licks. If you are covered in tuna it will lick you. neft licks sounds like netflix. "There is no word in the English language that starts and ends with the letter T" - he isn't saying that there is no word that starts and ends with the letter T, he is stating that "there is no word in the English language that" as a sentence starts and ends with the letter T. "Their are three erors in this sentence" - its in the writing. The first error is "their" instead of "there". The second is "erors" instead of "errors". The third is that there are only two errors. "You could live the entire rest of your life under water" - you will drown, and no longer be living your life. Your life will have ended under water, so that was the rest of it from the moment you went under water. "liometopum occidentale eggs are fantastic for your health, and why wouldn't they be, theyre full of new tree ants" - Only one I had to google wtf liometopum occidentale was. new tree ants sounds like nutrients. liometopum occidentale is the latin name for "Velvety tree ant"s. The eggs are literally full of new tree ants. A stopped clock is right twice a day... - literally just a fact, a stopped clock has the right time twice per day (e.g stopped at 8, its correct at 8 in the morning and 8 in the evening). A clock running slower than one second a year is so minutely out of sync with the real time it takes 43200 years before it syncs back up with the correct time for a single second, and starts the cycle again”
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